The Lighter Side of Hyboria

Cutesy and Colorful are two adjectives that I never thought I would use when talking about Robert E. Howard’s Cimmerian warrior Conan. The world of Hyboria is a dark and savage place, one that is full of Gods and Monsters who either care little for man or desires to control them all. I am a huge fan of this fantasy world, I have read all of Conan’s novels, seen all the films and even read many of the comics so anytime there is word of a new game starring my favorite jack of all trades Barbarian I tend to take notice. I was taken aback by Conan Chop Chop when I first saw it, as I said it is a bright a colorful take on Hyboria in a similar vein as Castle Crashers and I just knew it was going to be for younger audiences but I am glad to say I was mistaken.

Conan Chop Chop is a 4-player co-op rogue-lite hack ‘n’ slash that sees players going up against one of Conan’s oldest villains; the wizard Thoth-Amon. Here the evil wizard is trying to resurrect another evil wizard by the name of Xaltotun. The opening cutscene that outlines these beats is just the beginning of the silly comedy within; while typically Conan is NOT family friendly, Conan Chop Chop most assuredly is. Moments after Thoth-Amon completes the spell, Xaltotun appears enraged that he has no feet. Realizing that Thoth only has half of The Heart of Ahriman; the powerful relic that makes the resurrection possible. Angry, Xaltotun demands that Thoth give up his body for possession, but Thoth proposes a plan to find him a body by launching a contest known as the Wrath-a-Thon. The purpose of the event is to lure heroes across Hyboria to him so they can be tested to see who will be a worthy vessel. While the story takes some beats from the classic Conan novel Conan the Conqueror aka The Hour of the Dragon, it is by no means a shot-by-shot retelling of that story.

MSRP: $19.99
Platforms: Xbox (reviewed), PlayStation, Switch, PC
Price I’d Pay: $19.99

Players will be given the choice between four heroes with varying styles from Conan’s deep lore. Of course, the mighty Cimmerian barbarian himself can be selected; Conan plays like an all-around attacker which being a barbarian is true to form. The other heroes are Belit, an archer; Pallantides, a tank; and Valeria, a fast, rogue-type. Each hero has their own unique skill tree that unlocks things permanently like new attacks, more health and even how much gold you start each run with. While the unlockable attacks are unique from hero to hero, the things like health, and gold are the same for each. While the team at Mighty Kingdom delayed the game in order to add online multiplayer (SCORE!) it should be noted that the game can be played Solo, it will be difficult but not impossible.

While the objective remains the same each time, the procedurally generated levels and dungeons make each run feel unique. Even the starting town which has the entrance to each dungeon will randomize their location each time a player starts anew. When in town players can purchase weapons, armor and relics from vendors. As players progress levels they will collect a blue ore called, Steelfire which is used in town to make new equipment. Once unlocked those items will be added to the random loot pool and can pop up as a drop, or out of a chest. When players first craft an item it will spawn in town at the bottom of the fountain, so even though its going to be added to the random loot collection, you still get to use it right away…until death. Once players are all kitted out, they can proceed to the dungeon but be aware that once you leave town you cannot return until either you find victory or bitter defeat.

As players navigate the dungeons they will face off against all matter of beast, from plants that shoot barbs, to a basic gelatinous ooze and everything in between. Combat is pretty easy to pick up I’m happy to report. With this being a rogue-lite I was worried about it being overly complicated but after playing some co-op with my 10yr old daughter, I can confirm that she is better than me. Players will be equipped with a melee weapon that can be a sword, spear/trident or hammer; of course, they all have random attributes and stats. As does the armor, shields and bows that players will inevitably come across; there are a lot of items to unlock in Conan Chop Chop and I have little doubt that there is truly a build here for everyone. Even though I have yet to find Conan’s sword that was made famous in the 80’s movies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger but I’m almost certain its in game. Shields will play an important part of any heroes’ arsenal, if timed correctly using the shield will stun enemies and allow players to get some damage in. While I can’t stress enough the importance of using the shield, I was sad to see that it didn’t function 100% of the time. More than once I would be in position to block an enemy only to have the attack land seemingly behind me and it misses my shield all together. Its nice not to take damage instead of the whiff but when I am trying to get a stun on a boss that is one hit away from death and this happens my heart jumped into my throat every time.

Death will happen a lot in Conan Chop Chop, while much less frustrating than my time with Elden Ring it still stings to be killed and lose everything. Just like most other rogue-lites out there a visit from the grim reaper means that players will lose all accumulated gold, weapons and armor. However, the Steelfire used to upgrade gear will be retained just be sure to visit the blacksmith in town to craft that new gear and use them up. I may have to stop saying I am not a fan of this genre (rogue-lites) because the past few games I have played and thoroughly loved have all rogue-lites. Sifu, Deathloop, and while I didn’t review Elden Ring I am so far enjoying it. The bosses in Conan Chop Chop are just as difficult as they are in the average rogue-lite but players are not punished near as hard for missing an attack, or not blocking in time. Sure, large amounts of health will be taken but you won’t be on the verge of death like in a ‘SoulsBourne’ game which is a God send! I don’t know about you, but I can only take being killed by the same boss repeatedly in one game at a time.

Conan Chop Chop pleasantly surprised me, while I was drawn to it solely based on the Conan brand it really turned out to be a quite enjoyable, co-op romp through the lands of Hyboria. I mean for $20 this is a game that is complete, offers lots of replay ability and has tons of unlockables to chase by way of completing the collection of weapons, armor and runes. The family friendly approach is another great move in my opinion as it will surely help to attract a new audience, in fact after playing it my daughter has asked questions about Conan. I smiled at her and told her we can talk about when she’s older, but for now we can play some more Conan Chop Chop. Publisher Funcom, has for many years been the home of Conan when it comes to video games and seeing them branch out to various genres (Conan Exiles, Conan Unconquered, and Age of Hyboria) brings so much joy to this old man’s heart. To me, the world of Hyboria that Robert E. Howard created back in 1932 is peak fantasy, and any chance to play around in that world is a chance worth taking.

Review copy of game provided by publisher.