In a world where celebrities act badly…
I have no love for Geoff Keighley, and I have been very vocal about it on the podcast as to why so I won’t bore you all here. Needless to say, though I was given more reason to add to my ever-growing list due to the game Crime Boss: Rockay City. If you don’t understand, then you probably missed the “Keighlies” as we call it in my relatively small circle or community. See Crime Boss was announced to much pomp and circumstance much in part due to the large list of A & B-listers like Michael Madsen (who stars in the campaign), Ice-T, Kim Bassinger and Chuck Norris to name a few. Seriously this feels like a ‘who’s who’ of cinema from the 80’s-90’s, you never know who’s getting too old for this shit.
Rockay City is at its beating heart a first-person shooter that is heavily inspired by the likes of Payday, what isn’t so apparent from the initial trailer is that the game is narratively a roguelite; because OF COURSE IT IS! Rockay City is a fictional Florida town where Michael Madsen’s character plans to take over the criminal world. This is accomplished by battling rivals and taking over turf, sealing drugs and other valuables all the while trying to avoid a confrontation with the Sheriff, who was specially called in and is lazily portrayed by Chuck Norris.
MSRP: $39.99
Platforms: Xbox (reviewed), PlayStation, PC
Price I’d Pay: $14.99
The acting in this game is only part of the issue but a big part of it. The game was sold with the promise of these various actors yet what we got runs on a scale from dedicated actor to phoning it on the cross-country bus toilet. Seriously, there are multiple times where in the same conversation and cutscene the quality of each actor’s performance and recording quality will all be different. This game is just a flat-out mess.
Being a rougelite unfortunately means that you will have to see the same cutscenes and hear the same crappy dialog on repeat if you manage to fall during a run. It’s really a shame because the actual gameplay in Crime Boss really isn’t bad; that’s not to say it doesn’t have bugs because believe you me it does. But running and shooting seems to be executed well; the real issues come when stealth is involved.
Leaning on its Payday influences most missions will start with you undercover until someone spots you and then you must ‘bust some caps!’ Players will have the option to recruit some generic crooks to fill their ranks and they are good for distractions while the player steals the loot. They refuse to pick up anything up, but the player can throw them bags if they manage to not get shot by the apparent sniper trained cops. Shooting and such feels off, running if you can call it that never feels right and instead makes one feel like they are gliding. I suppose on the plus side I never had any real hard locks or crashes in the game unlike its PC launch.
Crime Boss Rockay City deserved better, from the inexcusable number of bugs and glitches that players will come across while played the games narrative or the multiplayer missions to the just laughable performances of some actors who I used to hold in such high regard. In a different timeline this game would have just leaned 100% into the jank and made this a successful parody. But instead, it falls flat by trying to tell a serious story about an ambitious crime boss who wanted more, a story as old as time and one that’s been told a million times better before.
Review copy of game provided by publisher.
