Destroy All Humans

Haven’t you ever gotten that urge? The urge to destroy? The need to vaporize that co-worker of yours because she won’t shut up about her 3rd failed marriage. THE DESIRE TO PURGE THIS EARTH FROM THE IMPUDENT SCOURGE THAT SLITHERS ALONG THIS VEXATIOUS PLANET KNOWN AS HUMANITY?! Well I have-..So I went to my local gaming outlet, dispatched the employees with stealth and guile, and procured a copy of this unholy matrimony of carnage and humor. From the moment I was greeted with the news cast, till the first time I probed a human–I used protection…………It was with a damn gun people, come on! Anyway, this game delivers a sadistically tasteful blend of action and adventure with witty humor and a hilarious parody of American paranoia in the 50’s. Let’s take a deeper look in a game based upon a particular fraction of American history that the government DIDN’T want you to know about!! Break out the Weekly World News, kick back, and enjoy the review-

You know something folks, one of my largest pet-peeves is playing games that don’t live up to their media hype, and this game blew my expectations out of space! This game turned out to be much more enjoyable than I anticipated, and I will now explain why. What does gaming with start people? The ability to control it! The abilities are all mapped on the controller, allowing you to use your abilities more efficiently and quickly. I had very little trouble with the lock on and the targeting system, but the option to control the sensitivity of it would have been nice in my opinion. Movement was smooth, and so was the ability to use the jetpack feature, a big plus in my opinion because that smoothness of strafing and jumping saved my little alien ass on more than one occasion.

The highlight of the control of the game is the telekinesis, the usage of TK was a sinister delight, being able to slam my foes in the ground multiple times and then cast them off into the air was almost arousing, because the button functions along with the usage of the control stick made it very easy to use. The only complaint I had, which isn’t a bad one, was the control scheme of the ship; you can’t control the direction of the projectile weapons, you have to maneuver the ship in conjunction with their usage. But it’s not that big of a deal, because you are going to spend most of your time trying to outmaneuver a heat-seeking missile, tank fire, and machine gun turrets all at the same time, and the usage of both control sticks to fly the ship is necessary. Overall, a very action friendly interface, two thumbs up.

Visually, this game didn’t have the best graphics, but they were still very competent and detailed. From backyard swimming pools and porch fences, to farm buildings, boat docks, to the rocks and dunes of the desert, there was plenty to look at while playing this great game. They considered many little nuances to give you the feeling that this was an actual place in the US that you were wreaking havoc in. The flashy wizz-bang effects like explosions, particle effects, and disintegrating human bones with plasma were very exciting with color and design. The Havoc engine was used to maintain the physics in this game, and did a tremendous job with limping bodies, damaged cars with their doors swinging, and lifeless cows. Although I caught some lag during heated battles, I didn’t catch enough to where it became an aggravation; overall; graphics gets two thumbs up.

Listening to a human scream while witnessing their electrifying death to the sound of 50’s alien movie tracks, was a memorable and heart-warming experience. Every aspect of the sound in this game fit just right. Weapon shots were sharp and authentic, sounding off in concert during epic battles like a warzone out of an H.G. Wells story. Voice acting for the characters were abundant with obvious talent, hitting the mark with their accents and dialogue. And of course brought together in blessed union with the, “Ooooo-woooo-oooo-hoooo!” sounds of UFO music from the golden years. Sound gets two thumbs up.

You can’t help but laugh at humanity when you destroy a city with your spaceship, and the tabloids read that the Communists did it. Pandemic did a fantastic job with the theme of the game. Scientific experimentation, government cover-ups and conspiracies, the Men in Black, all of these things elements that were added to the game are topics that you still hear about if you listen to talk radio at midnight. The dialogue was laugh out loud funny, especially when reading the thoughts of the humans, the off-the-wall script of thoughts made me realize that people think obscure thoughts all of the time, not really looking back and saying “What the hell did I just think?”. What captivated me the most was the depth of the 50’s culture in this game, along with the morbid humor that mixed with it, and how it NEVER got old or redundant, no matter what you did, it still fit into that general ambience. Also with your choice of reaching your objective in disguise or lasers-a-blazin, this gives characters a refreshing break from linear gameplay. Concept, two thumbs WAY up.

Really, there is nothing I can say other than play this game. You owe it to yourself to be entertained and challenged at the same time. With the ability to take on your missions anyway you please, or to just wreak havoc on humanity, you can’t go wrong when you-DESTROY-..ALL-..HUMANS!!!