The Bouncer

Man oh man where to begin, well first off let me say that I believe that Squaresoft is one of the most over-hyped companies in the gaming world today. Their games have lost the flavor they had in the 8 and 16-bit days and do not seem to have as much heart in them as they once did. I know a lot of gamers share my opinion, but will not admit that their beloved company is not all that. Anyways here is another lame attempt at Square trying a new genre let us see where they went wrong here.

This is the only plus of this game, albeit a small plus. The game’s visuals are nice, but they also have some major probs that needed to be worked out before release. For example, the character models are gorgeous, nicely detailed faces and tons of detail make them almost believable. Now the bad part is that they are jaggy as hell, I mean you can see the polys all around here and it is sad. Square tried to remedy this with a blurring effect that not only doesn’t work it makes the game look completely stupid. I hate games that hide their programming laziness with bad effects! The stages are highly detailed, but nothing is intereactive. I believe Square promised us fully interactive environments, ooops I guess eh Square?

The Dolby 5.1 is awesome here, Square sure made use of the PS2’s capabilities. This is also accompanied by that kick ass DVD format that is finally being used by developers. Square has presentation all around, too bad the gameplay isn’t there. The music is once again like elevator music, ya don’t even notice it is there and if it was absent you probably wouldn’t even notice. The character’s voices are very well done, one of the main characters is even done by Spike (Cowboy Bebop) he plays Kou in this title.

Where? Did you see any? I sure didn’t, this game plays like a drunk monkey. Sloppy, unresponsive and downright frustrating. Touch sensitive my ass more like hit the button I hope I do something cool, better yet I hope I hit them! This game is absolutely no fun to play. It only induces anger and frustration to the player. Games are supposed to be fun not stress inducer!

This game is not hardcore in any way, it is poorly constructed with a glossy coating to make it look pretty. Graphics and sound do not a good game make. The main element is missing here and that is fun factor. This game simply isn’t entertaining enough to enjoy it. I recommend a one day rental and you will see what I mean. Of course all of the Square-heads will be there screaming gimme gimme gimme! Let them have it, I sure as hell don’t want it ZT OUT!

Written by
Ken is the Editor-in-Chief of this hole in the wall and he loves to troll for the fun of it. He also enjoys long walks through Arkham Asylum and the cool air of Shadow Moses Island. His turn-ons include Mortal Kombat, Metal Gear Solid and StarCraft.